grace | In the Land of the Living

In modern America, we don’t usually think much about birthrights or inherited blessings. The vast majority of us do not expect to inherit from our relatives anything of significant value. Occasionally one of us will inherit an item of sentimental value, important to the beneficiary but usually a trinket or tool or book of little value to anyone else. We don’t think about an inheritance that we can use as leverage or exchange for something else of value to us.

Genesis tells us about Jacob and Esau, and Esau’s infamous barter of his birthright for a bowl of stew.

“…and Esau said to Jacob, ‘Please let me have a swallow of that red stuff there, for I am famished.’ Therefore his name was called Edom. But Jacob said, ‘First sell me your birthright.’ Esau said, ‘Behold, I am about to die; so of what use then is the birthright to me?’ And Jacob said, ‘First swear to me’; so he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob.” Genesis 25:30-33

The Hebrew birthright in the Patriarchal age was a right of tremendous importance. Usually given to the firstborn son, the birthright consisted of a double portion of the father’s personal property; designation as head of the family entailing responsibility for all common family property and for all remaining members of the household such as widows, younger brothers and unmarried sisters; and, authority over extended family members. The birthright also included receiving the blessing which put the beneficiary in close covenant relationship with Yahweh Himself.

This makes me wonder what my birthright in Christ is. I received the blessing of covenant relationship with God Himself when I was baptized into the body of Christ. I was born again of the Spirit and such a birth brings me a birthright.

“He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us, richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:5-7

“…we would be made heirs…” My right of birth into God’s family is to be an heir to eternal life. I don’t have to stand in line for it, I don’t have to wait for an older sibling to die to acquire it, I cannot buy it. It was conferred on me when I was born of the Spirit. My birthright.

“Jesus answered, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.’ ” John 3:5

“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. …And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise.” Galatians 3:26, 27, 29

If I am an heir to the riches of heaven, what does that mean to me here and now? Are the only benefits of being a child of God relegated to the spiritual realm I will live in after I leave behind the bag of bones I currently carry around?

Only in Christ, I have this birthright today and forever:

Peace with God–I am reconciled to Him. My debt to Him is paid in full by the blood of His Son. I stand as a citizen of Heaven, now, today. Ephesians 2:13-16

Justification before God–On my record, there is no mark of deficiency. In God’s eyes this day, He sees me as His child of promise. I pass the test. I win the race. Today. Romans 5:18, 19

Complete and enduring forgiveness–There is no record of my wrongs. No sin can be attributed to me. Once forgiven, He has no memory of my offenses. Ever. No matter what. Ephesians 1:7-9

Acceptance into God’s family–I am His child, sister to the Son of God. I am no more AND NO LESS important than any of my siblings. No matter where I come from, where I have been or what I have done. Complete and total acceptance through Jesus’ cleansing blood. Ephesians 2:19-22

Freedom from the slavery to sin and self—No longer my will, but only His will. I am no longer driven by a lifestyle that leads only to destruction. I know the futility of living life without promise, of trying to see what is real through a haze of distractions. In Christ I hold ownership to blessed outcomes and a meaningful journey. By the end, He will make everything right, nothing will be wasted. Romans 6:11

Resurrection–Yes, resurrection when Jesus returns, but also resurrection every day. Each day is a new day. Forgiveness through His grace allows me to start over, again and again, as many times as I need, cleansed and whole, each and every time. God’s forgiveness is limited only by my repentance. God’s supply of forgiveness is limitless. Whatever I need, no matter how much I need. I get to start over, always, until this life ends. Romans 6:1-7

Direct access to God–God is MY Father. I pray to Him. I serve Him. His Spirit indwells ME. His begotten Son pleads MY case before Him. MY relationship to Him is personal, intimate and priceless. Ephesians 2:17, 18

Genesis 25:34 says that Esau despised his birthright, counted it as nothing of importance, when he sold it to Jacob for a meal.

Do I ever despise my birthright? Do I ever trade it for what makes me feel happy, excited, loved, satiated, or proud in any given moment? Do I ever treat my inheritance in Christ as if it were of no importance to me? Do I listen to Satan’s whispers that tell me God didn’t really mean what He said when He said I would surely die? When he tells me God doesn’t really love me? Do I trade God’s truth that brings me blessings now and forever for lies that only rob me of what is rightfully mine in Christ?

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

This is one of those weeks when my emotions seem to invade every piece of my life. I am not a fan of days like these. I like to feel in control of daily life. This week, I feel like life is jumbled into a pile of spaghetti with pieces going in an endless array of directions, and I am not able to find the beginning or end of any one piece.

Have you tried to buy private health insurance lately? I tried to buy mine for next year only to be told I need to wait a month because they aren’t completely ready with the new plans for non-exchange customers. Lovely. I was hoping this chore was the one thing I could get accomplished this week. I wanted to feel comfortable knowing this piece of life was taken care of. Instead, I feel even more unsettled.

I went snow blower shopping. To get the model that fits my property’s requirements, I will have to spend more than I had hoped, but the retailer will get rid of my old, broken machine for me and deliver the new one. I could buy a less expensive model but it would probably break down sooner rather than later because I would use it beyond the specifications it was designed for. I loathe buying machines. I hate even more having to do it by myself, without a partner to share the burden, and the consequences. Grief tries to flood in once again.

My five-year-old washer keeps giving me an error code partway into its cycles. I looked up the code, and it seems I need to replace the filter screens in the water intake hoses. Okay. Not a big deal. I should be able to accomplish this. In my heart, though, it is another reminder I no longer have a handyman-in-residence.

I received the forgiveness I requested (“White Lie”), but I am still having trouble with moving beyond. Let it go, I tell myself. Just let it go. They forgive you, feel it is of no consequence. God forgives you. What I feel is fear. Fear that I will not see sin for what it is before I fall into it. And next time the consequences may be more serious. How can I forgive myself if my heart thinks I will just slip into sin again? How can I feel spiritually safe with myself?

I heard on the radio a woman talking about her recent diagnosis. She was expressing gratitude for the station’s programming which was encouraging to her in the difficulty she is facing. I heard the fear in her voice, and the memories rushed in. I remembered what it feels like to face medical uncertainty. And I sobbed. I asked God why this life has to be so hard. I prayed for her, a stranger, to have the courage and strength I know too well she will need.

My inclination is to blame my current state of emotional confusion on hormones or on the time change last weekend. Truthfully, both are playing a role, but fixing blame does not help me. There is nothing I can do about the time change except wait for my body to adjust. And hormones, well, I don’t have much control over them either other than the healthy habits I already avail myself of.

I could easily slip into a downward spiral of emotional morass, but I choose instead to see what God would have me learn:

Life is full of annoying chores. Any time and energy I spend worrying about what might or might not happen tomorrow or next week or next month is wasted. Eventually, I will be able to buy health insurance.

“‘So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'” Matthew 6:34

My loss is eternity’s gain. This life goes on whether I participate or not. Allow grief to lessen, knowing God leads me through my struggle. Move forward with life, no matter how hard it feels.

“Precious in the sight of the Lord Is the death of His godly ones.” Psalm 116:15

No matter how I feel, God never leaves me alone. No matter what circumstances occur in my life, I do not face any of them alone. No matter how disheartening. No matter how frustrating. No matter how upsetting. I am never alone.

“‘Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.'” Deuteronomy 31:6

God’s grace is always big enough for my sin. God wants my heart, wants me to want to be with Him. His grace makes His forgiveness always possible. As His child, no matter how far or how often I slip, His forgiveness is always, only, one confession away.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

This life is not the end; each day is new; God is faithful to those who love Him. The hard days of this life move me to want the next life, eternal life in God’s presence in a resurrected body, even more.

“Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘Therefore I will have hope in Him.'” Lamentations 3:19-24

This life is not going to be easy, simple, fair or always happy. Because sin is a part of every day on this earth, because earthly perfection was lost with the first bite of the forbidden fruit, this life will have hard days, days of jumbled emotions and fractious thinking. If I choose to endure and persevere, I will find blessing.

“Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

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