Tag Archives: spiritual growth

What Did She Say?

January 5, 2014UncategorizedAdam and Eve, communication, God, God's love, Holy Spirit, Jesus, pure in heart, spiritual growthDarby Coss Williams

Communication Miracles for Couples. It’s the Way You Say It. Strategic Management Communication for Leaders. Nonverbal Communication. What Every BODY is Saying. Communication Skills for Dummies. A quick search of Amazon on “communication” yields over 326,600 results. And that is just in “Books.” The titles promise me easy fixes to life’s problems, especially in my relationships. If I can only figure out how to make myself clear to others, assert my point of view in positive, relatable ways, and interpret others’ communication accurately, then I will be happy, successful in my endeavors and fulfilled. From home and family to work relationships, the world I live in struggles with communicating.

In the very beginning, Satan used this human conundrum to confuse Eve.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’ ” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:1-5

Eve quickly and easily repeats God’s instructions about what they are allowed to eat. God tells them they should not touch the tree in the middle of the garden, much less eat of its fruit. So, Satan in all of his craftiness, couches his lie among truthful, but incomplete, logic. The lie: “You will not surely die!” The truths: “…your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” The omissions: They were already closer to God than they ever could be, more like God than they ever would know otherwise. He was their companion, walked with them in the Garden. To know good and evil meant they would have to commit evil and separate themselves from God. Eve’s mistake: taking God’s instruction out of its proper context–the context of God’s overwhelming love for her and Adam, the pinnacle of His creation. Because she chose not to trust God’s love but chose to entertain the serpent’s appeal to her lust and pride, she and Adam lost everything.

Communication for me is always a challenge. As an introvert, I mentally and emotionally process on an internal level before communicating about anything. Most of my blog posts are days in the writing and even more days in the formation before the writing. In high school, through a wonderful teacher I learned to enjoy the craft of writing. But it does not come easily.

I am learning the limitations of the written word. Writing is sometimes without an accurate context, two-dimensional in its presentation. As Eve found out, context makes a huge difference. So often in modern society, context is omitted from quotations, making a speaker seem to say one thing when they are really saying something else. As a writer I view what I see and read and experience through a lens built by my life experiences, my personal context. When I was younger, I had a very simple lens with narrow focus. As I grow older, my lens becomes multi-faceted, sometimes making my ‘sight’ prismatic, creating great difficulty for me to find any sort of focus. I write what I ‘see’ through my lens, or personal context, and anyone who reads my writings does so through their own lens.

I find it very interesting that God would choose to reveal Himself primarily through two-dimensional written words, knowing that man would fall because he forgot the context of his existence. Would man not continue to forget God’s overwhelming love in two dimensions, when in three dimensions he already proved this weakness? By His great wisdom, God also revealed Himself through His Son. Jesus is called The Word, the living, breathing incarnation of God’s will, a walking Bible.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. John 1:1-3

So, God gives me His written word, the Bible, and He gives me the living example of His will, the Word–His will in both two and three dimensions.

When I write personal communications, I attempt to add texture to my writing. I use descriptive words and punctuation and the fashionable emoticons to relate my meaning in three dimensions, to give depth and breadth and feeling to my words. When I read a personal communication from someone, I find myself looking for the context, reading between the lines, to properly interpret their meaning. I am sometimes a frustrated reader, especially if the note is from someone I do not know well. The likelihood that I will misinterpret the writer’s meaning is high in such a circumstance.

When reading God’s Word, I sometimes feel a similar frustration. To know the context of words written thousands of years ago is daunting. Yet, God knows us well, knows what we need to properly ascertain His meaning and His will. In Exodus, He gives us a chronological account of His leading the Hebrews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land. Then, in Deuteronomy He includes Moses’ recounting of the journey (Deuteronomy 8-10) and how the memory of that odyssey is to be used as motivation to obey God. One of the psalmists gives another rendition of God’s leading Israel out of Egypt and through the wilderness in Psalm 106, adding more texture and more relevance to the already ancient story. In the Gospels, God gives us four accounts of Jesus’ life on earth, four perspectives written for four different purposes–depth, context and texture for comparison and proper interpretation.

I cannot approach God’s word frivolously and expect to understand it. He wants me to read it, study it, meditate on it, apply it.

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16, 17

I know God wants me to understand His will. He goes to great effort to show me His context. He adds depth and breadth and feeling to two dimensional words, allowing me to know clearly what He wants me to know. His Son, by example, shows me how to find Him in my daily life. His Spirit guides me in my quest for knowing Him and His will. My job is to want to know Him. I need to come to His word with a pure heart and a mind open to learning what is true about Him–through a simple lens that does not distort–keeping paramount in my mind the context of God’s overwhelming love for me.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

Just Say Thank You

November 28, 2013UncategorizedChrist, Christian, Fear, God, God's love, Jesus, life choices, Lord, prayer, responsibility, spiritual growth, steward, thanks, thanksgivingDarby Coss Williams

When I was a teen, I observed an event on several occasions that brought me a tinge of embarrassment. My mother and my grandmother, my mother’s mother, whenever they would eat at a restaurant together, would regularly fight over the check. I witnessed these epic battles several times, and I still cringe when I think about them. These women were my primary role models. Parts of me were afraid of them, all of me respected them, except in these moments.

My mother and grandmother are not alive to defend themselves, and I have no doubt they would try if they could. They were both strong women of high moral character and normally very dignified in their behavior. My family is better for them having been a part of it, and I spend much of my life living up to their memories. I always wanted them to be proud of me, and I know that I made them proud. They were loving women with great fortitude who saw their families through very difficult times. They both suffered from debilitating, lifelong illnesses–my mother from rheumatoid arthritis and my grandmother from type one diabetes–and lived lives of grace and faith in spite of the toll disease ravaged on their bodies. One of my greatest sorrows is that my girls had precious little opportunity to know who they were. My younger daughter was only two years old when my grandmother passed, and she was five when my mother passed.

The stubbornness which buoyed my mother and grandmother through heartache and physical suffering also contributed to the battles over the checks. Each could match the other in determination and focus. Most of the time these battles ended with one grabbing the check from the waitress and the other letting out a huff of disapproval. My mother could also add an eloquent eye roll. What I learned from these skirmishes was to say, “Thank you.” Every time someone picks up a check for my meal, I think of my mother and grandmother and the battles of the checks. After the cringe, the memory brings me a smile. And, I just say, “Thank you.”

I wonder how many times when God blesses me does He wish I would say, “thank you,” instead of all of the other things I come out with. Sometimes, I think I deserve the blessing He bestows and pat myself on the back for a job well done. Ingratitude is never pretty and puts much too much distance between my heart and His. From time to time, I overlook His blessings completely because I’m not paying attention. Occasionally, I don’t recognize a blessing because it doesn’t look like I think it should. Amazingly, at times, I will fight with Him for the check.

“For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude; for it is sanctified by means of the word of God and prayer.” 1 Timothy 4:5, 6

Now and then, God bestows a blessing, the answer to a long held prayer, to which He has been saying, “not yet.” I am overwhelmed. I don’t believe it because it comes in a package I did not imagine. I wonder what the catch is, why it is so much more than I asked for, so different from what I thought it would be. “Why now?” I ask myself. I feel the burden of it, a steward’s responsibility, and I want to say, “no, thank you.” I don’t trust God to know me well enough to know the best timing and appropriate quality of His blessings for me. I look to either side of me and start to reach for something, anything, that feels like I deserve it or looks like I think it should. Mediocrity. Imperfection. Triviality. Surely I don’t deserve the blessings that belong to the child of a King!

“Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire.” Hebrews 12:28, 29

But, I am the child of a King! A gracious and glorious King who loves me. I am a joint heir with the Savior of all humanity, entitled to every blessing in Heaven, even though I have not earned them. If I don’t know how to handle a blessing, I have only to look to Him for guidance and strength. If it doesn’t look like the blessing I was expecting, His package is much better for me. If the burden of the responsibility of the gift is heavy, He will help me carry it.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ,” Ephesians 1:3

Every blessing from God comes with some kind of responsibility. Every holy gift is to be treasured and used for His glory. Every godly endowment is to be nurtured and grown and shared for the benefit of His reputation. Every good thing from God is to be accepted and opened with a gratitude that never fades. Refusing a blessing from God or settling for anything less than what He deems I deserve is like spitting in His face, an affront to His great and glorious generosity.

“Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” James 1:16, 17

On this day of thanksgiving, I try to remember as many blessings as I can and thank God for each one. I remember the times I almost did not accept a gift God provided, and I am deeply thankful He gave me the wisdom to walk past my fears into His gracious blessings. My life would be much less full, much less happy, much less abounding in love if I had given in to my fears and trepidations.

I accept His gifts and, with all my heart, just say, “Thank You!”

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.” Psalm 118:1

Bother Me

September 25, 2013Uncategorizedfaith, God, spiritual growth, spiritual maturityDarby Coss Williams

When my older daughter started talking, I don’t think she stopped until she turned fifteen. She would talk about anything and everything under the sun. On more than one occasion, I asked her firmly to stop talking because my ears were hurting. As a mother, I recognized it was important to her development for her to exercise this ‘muscle’ that seemed to be so large, but it tested my patience to let her use it. She matured into a bright and vivacious young woman who now uses her words to bless those around her.

My younger daughter tested me in different ways. As a child, she was more subtle, more cunning and much quieter than her sister. She was my cuddler and often attempted to use her gift to me to accomplish her agenda. She tested my ability to remain an objective parent and not fall into her charming traps. When she didn’t get what she wanted, she made sure I knew she was unhappy. She matured into a sensitive and empathic young woman with a heart of gold and an artistic flair for life.

I wonder what it means to God as my parent to raise me from a freshly forgiven child into a mature and fully formed spiritual adult? Does He get the thrill and satisfaction I get when I see my children become the self-confident adults I hoped they would become? Does He feel the same heartache I feel when I see my children struggle and sometimes fail in their quest to be who they want to be?

One of the roles in parenting I liked least was making sure my girls followed through on the instructions I gave them. Ragging on a ten-year-old was not my idea of fun. I used several approaches to teach them the importance of doing as I said when I said it. None of them really worked. I grew up doing a list of chores, but I never instituted that system with my children. It never seemed practical. Or workable. My children were so different from each other and from me, cooperation was very difficult to achieve. They approached cleaning up from very different perspectives, one of them getting so distracted that she rarely finished the effort. Yes, I could have been much more diligent in my parenting, but somehow they grew up to be responsible, self-supporting adults in spite of me.

Thankfully, my Heavenly Father is the perfect parent. He does not grow weary in directing my growth process. He knows precisely what I need when I need it to help me mature in my faith. He knows when I need to rest and when I need to be working. He knows what works for me in my maturing process is usually different from what works for others. His goal is to see me make my eternal home with Him, successfully withstanding every challenge and threat Satan throws my way.

One of the ways God seeks to mature me is in my ability to respond to His directions, to obey, to seek His will and then do it. To choose to be His hands and feet on earth. To follow through with my desire to serve Him. So often, too often, I ask God to show me what to do next, to guide my steps, to give me direction, and I fail to listen or I fail to follow through. Sometimes, I don’t like what He is asking me to do and I suggest He let someone else do it, someone else who I think would be more suitable for the task. Sometimes, I don’t understand why He would want me to accomplish a certain task He puts on my heart. It makes no sense, so I dismiss it. Sometimes, I am so wrapped up in my own agenda that I do not hear His request.

I miss many opportunities for spiritual growth because I am not paying attention or I don’t want to know what God’s direction is. When trouble comes, though, I end up back on my knees asking God to lead me out of it. I find it hard to discern His voice from all the other noise in my life, though, because I am out of practice listening to Him. I am out of practice following through on His direction. My desire to please Him feels stale because I have been so lax in caring about what He wants.

So, my prayer is this: Heavenly Father, show me Your will for this day. Put on my heart what You want me to do and how You want me to do it. And bother me until I do it.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139: 23, 24

In the Land of the Living

Faith in the Real World

Tag Archives: spiritual growth

What Did She Say?

Just Say Thank You

Bother Me