Monthly Archives: October 2013

First Love

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“When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, ‘Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the Lord.’  So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.”  Hosea 1:2, 3

God tells the prophet Hosea to make a prostitute his wife.  He is showing Hosea in a very personal way the heartache He is suffering because of Israel’s chronic betrayal.  God has been warning Israel for years that they are testing His patience, that there will be a day of reckoning when He will strike them down.  Yet, they continue to worship Baal and Asherah in addition to the true God.  They build shrines to these gods and incorporate ‘sacred’ prostitution into their religious practice.

Israel makes a mockery of the first of the commandments God gives to them at Sinai:

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.  You shall have no other gods before Me.”  Exodus 20:2, 3

They prostitute themselves to other spiritual loves.  Eventually Israel comes to consider the Baals more beneficial to them than God Almighty.  God makes it clear from the very beginning that worshiping any other god will have repercussions.  He is a jealous God and does not tolerate their hearts wandering to any other god.

“…for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”  Exodus 20:5b, 6

Israel’s mistake is to stop pursuing God as their first love.  In doing so, they lose their knowledge of Him, lose the connection they have to Him.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.  Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being My priest.  Since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children.”   Hosea 4:6

Israel doesn’t seem to know how destitute their plight is:

“The more they multiplied, the more they sinned against Me; I will change their glory into shame.”  Hosea 4:7

Hosea gains firsthand a glimpse into the heart of our grieving God.  Gomer’s betrayal leads Hosea into deep heartache that mirrors the heartache of the Creator.  Israel, His chosen love who would bring into the world the Messiah, His Son, no longer pursues Him, chooses to pursue false gods who have never been and never will be their savior and true love.  How do they not understand what they are doing?  They break the heart of God.

“‘I will punish her for the days of the Baals When she used to offer sacrifices to them And adorn herself with her earrings and jewelry, And follow her lovers, so that she forgot me,’ declares the Lord.”  Hosea 2:13

Do I betray my God, my only Savior and Redeemer?  How?  With what gods do I prostitute myself?  The god of pleasure or the god of success?  The god of recreation or the god of power?  The god of money?  The god of influence?  What in my life matters more to me than Him?  Do I matter more to me than He does?

When I ask myself these questions I feel myself recoiling.  “Of course I don’t prostitute myself to other spiritual loves!”   Now I ask the questions a bit differently.  Who would I rather spend time with, the God who made me or the gods who make me feel good?  Who do I trust, the God who redeems me or the gods who give me what I want today?  To whom do I surrender allegiance, the God who is perfect in His love and faithfulness toward me or the gods who exalt me among my peers?

In my shame, I start to understand how I break the heart of my loving God.  Most of my time is taken up by activities that enrich me in some way.  My life is tied more to this world than to my home with God.  When I have the opportunity to meditate, I spend more energy thinking about, worrying about, the affairs of this world than I do on the One who provides what endures for eternity.  Too many times, His Spirit is prompting me to pray before I choose to do it on my own.  When will I understand choosing anything or anyone before choosing Him is like slapping my mate in his face with ridicule and contempt?  When will I realize that trusting anyone or anything except the God who loves me with a passion that lasts through eternity is like stomping on the heart of my beloved after he reveals the depth of his love for me?

I don’t want to lose my first love.  I know what it feels like to lose a love.  My heart cannot afford to lose any more.  I don’t want to be like the Ephesians, stuck in my ‘rightness’ but far away from the heart of God (Revelation 2:1-5).  God makes it clear that He does not tolerate sharing the throne of my heart with anyone or anything else.  Do I take His jealously seriously?

Jesus teaches the first commandment is to love God with all that we are, heart, mind and soul (Matthew 22:37, 38).  No equivocation here.  Heart.  Mind.  Soul.  All.  I must pursue Him, and Him only, with all that is within me.

Just like Hosea buys back Gomer after she had become another man’s property, God buys back Israel and all of mankind through His Son.  God’s love of man is relentless and unending.  He is faithful beyond reason.  He is unspeakably generous.

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.  Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquitites, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.”  Psalm 103:1-5

All Bible quotes are from Zondervan’s Classic Reference Bible, New American Standard Bible–Updated Edition copyright 1999 by Zondervan

NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation.  Used by permission.

Change

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As a child and young adult, I enjoyed change.  Each day was new and sometimes exciting, bringing both good changes and bad.  I liked the challenge of learning new things and the thrill of new experiences.  Feeling destabilized faded in the face of meeting changes with my ability to analyze and assimilate them into my life.  My family moved three times while I was growing up.  Each move involved climate and cultural and social changes that felt difficult but not unconquerable.  As a child, I thrilled at the anticipation of moving to the next grade, thrived on learning new concepts and passing the tests to demonstrate my mastery of them.  Finally starting high school was a high point in my adolescence.  Going to college was a fabulous new adventure.  Getting married, the triumphant culmination of many dreams.

Somewhere along the way, I lost the thrill of life changes.  In my heart, challenges started representing losses instead of exciting voyages.  Relocating became frustrating and tiresome.  Learning new things became an unwelcome chore.   I found myself emotionally recoiling from change, anxious to protect what was mine and maintain the status quo.  Realizing the years were piling on faster than I wanted them to made me want to slow everything down and keep life stable and predictable, unchanging.

And now, I find myself in a season of change–unplanned changes I did not anticipate brought into my life by tragic loss.  To avoid this season would mean certain stagnation, getting stuck in my current frame of mind and heart, so change is the path I prefer.  Personal, financial, mental, emotional and social changes stare me in the face.  Many of the changes are blessings, new responsibilities which give me a sense of security, newly found footing that feels solid.  Some of the changes require me to expend a tremendous amount of energy to accomplish them.  Nearly all of the changes necessitate that I feel motivated to achieve them,  an emotion that is too often illusive.  For the first time in a long time, the choices are mine alone.  I now have options, but they materialize with no clear path as to which road is right or best for me.  I feel myself going with my ‘gut’ more often than I am comfortable with, relying on instincts honed by experiences I am not confident qualify me to make good choices.  Anxiety is a frequent and unwelcome companion.

Change in my life moves me to reach out for something solid, something unerringly reliable.  Change moves me to pray to God, my heavenly Father, the One who is always the same.  To seek not only His help, but His leading, His desire for me, His choices for this season in my life.  Not only His preference, but also His will for what comes next for me.

To pray before seeking any other activity to fix my dilemma is new to me.  I am a problem-solver, one who analyzes, assesses and chooses a solution.  I am fairly successful at this, consider it a gift I can use confidently.  I nearly always ask for God’s blessing, for His encouragement, in my life choices.  Now it is different.  I am different, changed by upheaval I was unable to prevent or stop.  Now life is upside down and inside out.  It is nonsensical and illustrates to me how little I know and how little I control.  I am unsure when or where to raise my sail, in what direction to move the rudder.  A boat on choppy seas, and all I feel like doing is curling up in a ball and wishing it would all go away.

So I pray.  I talk to the One who knows my ending before I know where to begin.  I seek the counsel and encouragement of the One who charts my path through all the turmoil of my human existence.  I learn to trust the One who loves me in ways I neither understand nor am able to emulate.

My prayers are no longer wish lists to satisfy me.  They are now recitations of gratitude for His care of me, for His provision of my needs and wants and comforts, for His protection of me from the Evil One, for His leading and strength and love.  I ask Him to continue His loving care of me.  I ask Him for His wisdom so that I make choices which not only please Him but choices that bring Him praise and glory.  I ask Him to lead me in righteous paths so that in no situation am I too far away from Him.  I ask Him never to let me let go of His hand.

With each prayer, He rebuilds my confidence, not in my abilities, but in His desire and  His ability to lead me into the best life for me, a life that keeps me close to Him, loving and serving in the ways He wants me to love and serve.  With each prayer, my anxiety subsides and I start to know that I am secure in what the future, which remains a mystery, holds for me.  The fear abates; the heartache at what might have been, what is forever lost, recedes from importance.  Life starts to make sense again.

“Blessed be the Lord, Because He has heard the voice of my supplication.  The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.”  Psalm 28:6, 7

All Bible quotes are from Zondervan’s Classic Reference Bible, New American Standard Bible–Updated Edition copyright 1999 by Zondervan

NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation.  Used by permission.

Nails of Arrogance

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Sometimes I find it really difficult to get along with other people.  Usually, those I am trying to work with have an unspoken agenda that drives their choices.  That agenda can be rooted in their past experiences, in past or current hurts, or in selfish desire–things that may have nothing to do with the task at hand.  It seems everyone else sees the world a little differently than I do, or maybe I am the one who sees it from a different perspective.  Put a couple of dozen, or a couple of hundred or more, people like me together in a church, and the ‘fun’ really begins.

I live in a divided Christian world, but Jesus’ desire was that we would be united as His Body.  I have heard it said that He bestows unity upon us and that it is our responsibility to maintain it.  Whether I think we craft unity or merely maintain it, I know we fail miserably at unity.  And I see a Christian community that seems quite content with the status quo of division.

“‘I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those who believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may believe that You sent Me.  The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.'”  John 17:20-23

My testimony to the world of the One who sent Jesus is made plain by how well I reflect the glory, that is, the praiseworthiness, of Jesus as I participate in the unity of His Church.  No matter how I witness about Him in any other way, I must play a part in and be committed to the unity of God’s people in order to show the world Who sent Jesus, Who loves us, Who loves Him.  God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit are one, unified for all eternity.  How well I love and take care of my family in Christ is a direct reflection of His glory in me.  If I participate in, encourage or put up with division in His Body, His Church, then I have no part in His unity.

The word ‘judgmental’ gets thrown around quite a bit whenever a discussion of unity occurs.  I find it interesting that those who use it to brand others are indeed exercising the very thing they rail against.  I am very happy to leave the word alone and talk about the real problem:  We don’t love each other the way God intends, the way He loves His Son, the way He loves us.

I, like most of the human race, think of love in warm, emotional fuzzies.  In my post, “Is It Love?,” I talk about what real love is.   How I feel about someone should have no bearing on how I love them.  If only I could figure out how to separate my actions from my feelings!

“Do nothing from selfishness or vain conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.”  Philippians 2:3, 4

Separate my feelings of selfishness and conceit from the workings of my mind.  Choose to treat my Christian siblings as more important than myself.  When my sister in Christ and I disagree, what does love demand that I do?  Think of her as more important than me, according to Paul.  Be humble in my mind, consider and protect her eternal best interests as much as my own.  To love my sister, it must cost me something.  Defer to her need for understanding, compassion, and consideration.  Refuse to create a stone of stumbling for her.  Suppress my own wants, even needs, to make sure she has what she needs to be whole and part of the unity of the Spirit in Christ.  I should be falling all over myself to maintain the unity between and through us.

“Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just to please ourselves.  Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, for his edification.”  Romans 15:1, 2

I have yet to meet the fellow Christian who wants to be thought of as weak, including myself.  Convinced of my opinion, I feel strong, I feel right.  My feelings shouldn’t matter.  How I treat my brother with whom I disagree is what matters.  If I treat him well, I reflect the glory of Christ and promote unity within the Spirit.  If I treat him poorly, negligently, running rough shod over him in my zeal to advance what I think and what I want, I trash unity by tearing apart what should be most precious to me–the Body of Christ.

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.  Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.”  Colossians 3:12-15

At the end of time, when I am before Christ answering for my life on earth, what do I want to be able to say to Him?  Do I want to say that I used my God-given talents to make sure everyone who called themselves Christian towed the line?  Or, would I rather be able to say to Him that I led His people in righteous living by my example and did everything I could to preserve and strengthen the unity of His Body?

I can’t make anyone else do what God would have him do.  I can, however, demonstrate in my own life a righteous walk that shows others how to walk more closely with God.  I can love my church family, the Body of Christ, His hands and His feet on this earth, so much that I lay down my life for their spiritual well-being.  No agenda I might want to advance is worth alienating even one of my spiritual siblings.  When I teach, I can teach only truth.  When I serve, I can serve with only love.  When I walk, I can walk only in the Light, in an attitude of repentance and out of a desire to be faithful to the One who has always been faithful to me.

Christ’s Body, the manifestation of it on this earth, His Church, is the most precious blessing we have been given.  I do not want to treat it with the same contempt and disgrace it was subjected to while hanging on the cross on Golgotha.  He is crucified once for me already.  May I never be guilty of rending His Body with my sword of selfishness or of rehanging Him on a tree with my nails of arrogance.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you; that you also love one another.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  John 13:34, 35

All Bible quotes are from Zondervan’s Classic Reference Bible, New American Standard Bible–Updated Edition copyright 1999 by Zondervan

NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation.  Used by permission.